Job seeker!

Januarii bukan time for holiday buat gue..,
lebih ke spending every moment with my beloved parents with nothing
i mean not useless thing but wasting time without no result hahaaa ^.^

i'm fine and happy enough for this
even no money, no desire, hopeless.. but i still can smiling

i'm a job seeker, yeaa sejak si penopang tag sanggup membiayai kelanjutan study guee
at least diploma juga perlu di syukuri.. hahaa yg pnting prnah ngerasain wisuda..
here i am again n again.. gag satu pun company gue apply i mean seriously applicant
soalnya guee gag minat, krn niatan dtg ke jogja emang cm buat continue my bachelor degree
but, suddenly.. my oldest sister getting married with someone who came in her life just about
5 days before chistmas eve..

then i have to stuck here, celebrate worst x'mas and new year in very very simple way
and realized that i'm totally in a mess

accept everything include the fact that i have to looking for a job
doesn't mean that i'm not ready yet, it's just like dissapointed feeling
drop down when hear that ur sister promise u something that u really want
such as new gadget but u have nothing

suck when u know that ur ex kissing with his new girl
and when he ignore bout u after all

sick when u want to go outside but u don't have anyone to come with u
u can't go for hanging out b'coz u r the new person in ur environment

then when someone come into ur new life, want to make relationship
but he still bring his memories with his ex with u

horible.. yes.. absolutely..
and that's what u get in 21th age

be stronger and happier than ever in this year..
say hi to 22th later and be mature to face those kind of problems even worse

gue sm cowok baru sekarang.. guess what?
teman lama yg sejak jaman friendster udah kenal..
sejak masih sm band jye-ard and sejak gue msii cupu'
yeeaa actually gag sejadul itu juga

iaa gue lagi nyari kerja, demi sesuap nasi
#majas deh

miris ketika menghadapi segala sesuatunya plus ngalamin semuanya serba sendiri
sering berpura-pura di depan mereka bahkan semua orang

capek, lelah bahkan sakit
tapi krn keyakinan kalo semua bakal terlewati apapun bentuk proses maupun hasilnya
disnilah gue sekarang,
dengan tanpa menyesali apapun di masa lalu, baik orang2 yang terlibat maupun masalahnya
gue bersyukur
karna emang cuma itu yg gue bisa

nangis??
iaa gue emang cengeng, tapi itu bagian dari eksplorasi jiwa yg gue pendem
saat harus terlihat sempurna d'depan orang lain..

jujur gue bahagia sm hidup yang sekarang,
lebih tenang dan tanpa beban

gue cuma harus membiasakan diri aja
gue jg gag boleh terlalu berharap siapa pun sekarang
iaa gue baru sadar

memang gue bodoh, beberapa orang dekat juga menyadari itu
bahkan gue sendiri enggan mengakuinya
tapi itulah proses dari gue yang gag bisa muluk-muluk

senang saat mereka bisa nerima gue apa adanya
senang saat mereka bahagia karna ada gue
atau saat mereka tertawa (bkn snyum) saat d'samping gue

mungkin ini belum diri gue yang baru, tapi yakin gue pasti lebih baik dari kemarin
gue gag bisa janji apa pun, asal mereka yakin itu udah jadi semangat gue
dan gue butuh itu banget

iaa gue kangen makassar, walau masih sedikit khawatir akan rasa sakit itu
tapi gue rasanya seperti punya alasan yg kuat lagi tuk kembali kesana
entah apa itu, gue kangen banyak hal tentang makassar
dan bukan dya
bukan sakit itu
dan bukan air mata itu

tapi i have to be patient now
there something i have to do here
untiil the time i'll come back and see u soon darl..

miss me, like i always do to u .. ♥ ♫ ♥